My Tears

Opening vent:
Ministry ain't easy ~ yeah, I said ain't ~ and yes I used a phrase derived from the old saying pimping ain't easy ~ Yesterday, we hosted and led the homegoing service of a baby ~ a one year old struck and killed by a pick-up truck ~ we, the church, are also mourning the loss of a 33 year old pillar of the church, the WMS, and a piece of sunshine to all...

My tears are the result of pain; my pain, feeling the pain of others
My tears flow when I am angry; angry at others, G-d, myself
My tears well up as I look at my children; the unconditional positive regard and the fear of the unknown
My tears want to escape; as I am hurt, in pain, or suffering
My tears manifest in joy; the joy I have which only G-d can give
My tears tell many stories; stories only I know and can tell...

In the midst of my tears I witnessed a preacher preach with fire to a family who was grieving the loss of the one-year old ~ He implored us to seek G-d, ask G-d, bother G-d, harass G-d, as we move out of G-d's way to let G-d do what G-d does: bless, comfort, provide, control, guide, heal, and love.  Witnessing this preacher preach to the un-churched, hurt, angry, lost, and hopeless was an amazing site to behold.

In the midst of my tears I witnessed a preacher preach through his own grief as we morn the loss of our beloved member who will be honored next week during her homegoing service.  And I was immediately reminded of my own grief and loss but was quickly encouraged and strengthened through the words of G-d through this vessel called the preacher in the midst of my tears.

My tears are multi-faceted with a beginning and and end that others may or may not understand ~ in the end my tears are needed to release, empty, flush out all that is blocking G-d's opportunity and ability to restore, renew, revive, replenish, and redeem.  My tears flow from my heart through my eyes giving honor to G-d no matter the source and expecting G-d to move! Even with my tears of celebration, these tears help me to remember for whence cometh my help and to give glory, honor, and praise to the One who is the source of my strength, provision, health, healing, and wholeness.

Right now my tears honor Rose, Ed, G'ma, Nana, Uncle James, Ms. Cheryl, Shirley, Se'Viion, Sheneke, and a host of others who have left this life for the next ~ resting in the safety of G-d's arms.

To G-d be the glory!

Never hopeless ~ forever searching