It is amazing how one word can bring life or death. During Lenten season we (or at least we should) learn, reflect, witness, and experience a phenomena of life through death. There are countless scriptures of example: rivers in the desert, dry bones that live, seeds dying in order to bring new life, dying to self in order to live and live more abundantly, and the ultimate death for life ~ Jesus, the crucifixion and the resurrection.
This Lenten season was particularly different for me. The busyness of life kept me busy; study and prayer occurred but not at a sound, consistent approach; operation outside of my element which is to act reflect and act, take time out for self, and enjoying my introverted ways.
So during Holy Week, I decided to make a change. I was on the phone with a friend expressing a situation that hurt me. He said "If you don't like something you have the power to change it." Then I spoke with another friend who introduced a book called "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" and the art of meditation. I have avoided meditation in the past, always making excuses: I don't have time, I can't sit still, my mind is too busy, I don't want to be alone/quiet/still, and I don't want to know what will be revealed during this time of meditation. Nonetheless, I kept hearing my friends voice "If you don't like it, change it."
I realized in order to get to the mountain one has to go through the valley. Once at the mountain, only you and G-d know whether to move the mountain or garner the strength to climb. So this notion of "if you don't like it change it" became a desire to obtain a heightened level of discernment: when to stay, leave, speak, listen, stop, go, do and be.
So I began this journey of mediation and prayer with a goal to just Be; to sit in the presence of the Lord and be still. Yes, everyday, I pray for my children, my grandson, my estranged sister, my enemies, my "frienemies," sick and shut in, bereaved... yet these moments of meditation is to let G-d be G-d and availing myself to bask in the Lord's presence.
During a time of atonement, the word execute came to mind/heart. WOW! One word that can bring life or death in an instant. Execute means to put in effect, to make happen, to implement; yet, it means to kill, to carry out a death sentence, to put to death. In my line of work I am charged with being the executioner ~ the executive minister who makes things happen, makes a way for ministries to succeed, meet people where they are in order to move beyond their current moment and journey together toward transformation in Christ... I have an amazing job! I serve youth and young adults, I get to meet amazing people, I train, develop, teach, preach... this is my dream come true!
The reality is, just as quick as I am the executioner ~ the one who makes things happen, I am also the executioner ~ the one who puts things to death. My negative response can kill a dream, my anger can hurt a soul, my busyness can edge out G-d (ego,) my conforming to my surroundings can destroy G-d's will in my life and in the lives of others. My execution can either speak life or death. My execution can either bring something to life or shut something down in an instant.
The key to discerning "which executioner am I?" is reconciling my intent. My intent should not be to disregard, demean, degrade, disrespect, dismiss, or damage; even if something must die and I am called to execute, I must do so out of Love, forward movement, desired transformation, and spiritual reconciliation.
Jesus dying on the cross was a horrific, painful, inhumane, evil, heinous experience. G-d allowing, witnessing, crying, ordering, sustaining, and implementing this life through death experience was mysterious and cathartic. Jesus' resurrection was the culmination of the execution at the cross: life and death occurring in a three-day experience. The execution became the execution of G-d's plan; G-d's plan to save us of our sin for an opportunity at everlasting life, a plan to teach us there is life in death, a plan to set the example for us to live life and live it more abundantly, a plan to teach us to seek things eternal despite what the mind's eye may see, a plan to execute G-d's plan while using human plans to do so.
I am the executioner: implementing G-d's will on my life while removing, killing, destroying that which adversely impacts G-d's will on my life. With this comes a level of discernment, assessment, reflection, actualization, realization, and Truth ~ realizing even in death I have an opportunity to live and speak life in my life and in the lives of others. I am the executioner: executing G-d's words and precepts as the guiding force of my thoughts, words, deeds and destiny. I am the executioner: living out unconditional positive regard for self and others. I am the executioner: seeing G-d in all things and making G-dly responses in the midst of. I am the executioner: ordained by G-d for such a time as this: removing negative intent, reconciling ego with my spiritual intelligence, keeping G-d's laws on my heart, and pressing my way (our way) through the valley. I am the executioner for G-d, no longer killing with my words and deeds, no longer conforming to the false power of the world, no longer seeking worldly pleasure. I am the Executioner! Which executioner are you?
Never hopeless ~ Forever searching...
