I find myself at least 3-5 times a week opening my eyes at exactly 4:40. Not inspired by Jay-Z but wondering if this is the time I received the call my dad was transitioning from life to death to reward. I believe I received the call around this time. I sat up on the couch in our apartment on 140th street in Harlem and I played Whitney Houston's version of I Love the Lord about 20 times before awaking my children to let them know I was on my way to the hospital because their grandfather was dying.
Yet, this morning my 4:40 eye opener was not just about my daddy. My soul was grieving:
For Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin islands who are in the throws of another hurricane as I type.
For Mexico who has experienced another devastating earthquake.
For the woman who got into a fight. Two human beings fought. Police were involved. This was her first offense. After the community tried to rally behind her because she worked in the community and served her community and she got into a fight - even the woman she fought professed to the judge and others that she threw the first punch - the woman who has an infant daughter was sentenced to 6-months in jail. There were other options such as probation, anger management, possible house arrest... I don't know... I am not a lawyer or judge but in my human spirit-filled imagination there were other options than to separate this young woman from her family for 6-months.
For the fight for my life as I battle stage III HER2 positive breast cancer everyday hoping that the world will heal along with me. Facing the dis-ease. Naming it. Calling its name to cast it out back to the pit of hell where it belongs.
For St. Louis!
For this country where white people actually think that #45 is doing a great job. These are not people living under a rock. These are people that lead others, work in hospitals, politicians, business leaders, community leaders, Black people caught up in a white mentality of oppression, self-aggrandizement, and false power.
For the millions who will lose their healthcare and countless others like me who now have a pre-existing condition and may be at risk of losing my healthcare.
For the women. The women in our world. The women in our zion. The women who are silenced. The women who are marginalized. The women who continue to speak, stand, and fight. The women who insert themselves into a narrative of bigotry and misogyny to combat the status quo and demand an inalienable right to live and live life abundantly.
For those who don't love themselves enough to love others.
For the fact that I may never watch the NFL again.
For my children and my grandson and for other people's children. My humanity is inextricably bound in a world full of hate and this hurts!
4:40 you have greeted me once again - see you tomorrow!
Never hopeless ~ always searching!
soul2soulsisters.org
